Ummm. So, I took this bat photo of Kayloo at 5:30pm on Saturday night. Aside from the issue that the most exciting thing I did on a Saturday was take pictures of my dog... there is something else wrong with this picture...
IT'S 5:30PM AND IT IS PITCH BLACK OUT!!!
From this photo you might think I was kickin' it up at the North Pole, but no, on no, I live much further south than that. I live in Canada, yes, but I DO NOT hang out with polar bears and this whole not-being-able-to-see-my-hand-in-front-of-my-face thing bites.
Which, for some reason, makes me think of Australia. Did you know that water goes down the drain THE OTHER WAY in Australia? It does. They also have big hairy non-poisonous but COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY TERRIFYING spiders that are the size of the palm of your hand. I AM NOT KIDDING. My friend found one in the bottom tray thingy OF HER TOASTER. Can you imagine that? Peanut butter? Check. Jam? Check. GREAT BIG FREAKING HAIRY SPIDER? Yeah, check the shit out of that one too.
They also have Vegemite which is basically like spreadable salt. Mmmmmm. Spreadable salt... Most non-Aussies hate Vegemite because they eat it wrong and Vegemite is HEINOUS when you eat it wrong. When you it it right it is spectacular, when you eat it wrong it is disgusting, horrible, gag-inducing, grossness and the taste never ever really goes away. You're stuck with it forever. I'm pretty sure scientists have proven that. Pretty sure.
Moral of this post: Check your toasters for spiders just in case, don't mess with vegemite and bring a flashlight on your next outting. That's all.
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You don't have to go so far as Australia to find spiders the size of your palm, nooo, you only have to venture into the southwestern United States to find the very familiar Tarantula. And finding them in your toaster? These guys probably won't fit through the top of the damn thing.
ReplyDelete"yeah check the shit out of that too." lol!!! that is some funny stuff hon. Also, is there really a proper way to eat vegemite? and then it is delicious? for reals? S xox
ReplyDeleteIt gets so dark so early, but I am happy that it is light for our morning walk. I was taking pictures of our morning walk the other day and marveling how bright it was outside.
ReplyDeleteI really like your pet bed from the prior post. Do the pooches find it comfortable?
@Sarah- SARAH! Hello, lovely Sarah! BEHOLD: how to eat vegemite properly:
ReplyDeletePut piece of bread in toaster. Take toast out of toaster IMMEDIATELY after it is finished toasting. Put a thin layer of butter on the toast until it is bathed in melty splendour. Gently scrape a VERY thin layer of vegemite on the toast. VERY thin. This is important & the thing that is the difference between heinous and happy. If you did all that perfectly you will have a lovely vegemite experience. OH AND ONE OTHER THING: an Australian person has to make it for you. That's what makes it the best :)
@Schwang- You're right, the mornings getting bright earlier is lovely :) Yes, they do like the cushion. It's from Molly Mutt & the thing that is fab about it is there is sack inside it that you stuff with whatever you want (i.e. old clothes, blankets, cushions whatever) so it's eco-friendly & it's a cool design. I've washed it and it washes up nice as well. I bought mine from a Canadian supplier so it was a bit more expensive, but if you're in the States it is a really good price. Hope that helps!
ReplyDelete@Paul- I did not know there were tarantulas in North America... should I admit that? There is a Bug Zoo here and I held a LIVE tarantula. And a scorpion. And a big freaky cockroach, if you can believe it... And a stick bug... the stick bugs were pretty wicked. When I was in Oz I saw a Huntsman (i.e. freaking huge spider) on the wall and I sat there "keeping my eye on it" for 1/2 hour until my roommate came home. The thing HAD HAIR for craps sake.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of dog is Kayloo?
ReplyDelete@yogagrrl- Kayloo is a rescue (she was abandoned @ a dump when she was 4 weeks old... WHAT KIND OF JERK DOES THAT?!), so exactly what she is is anyone's guess. But we think she is probably collie/kelpie/pit bull... maybe a few other things. When she was younger she looked like she had quite a bit of bull terrier in her- she still does a bit but less pronounced. OH- & we think she might be crossed with carebear as well :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the vegemite tips hon! Sadly, the only Australian link i have is an ex (ahem..you knew him..) who travelled there briefly, yet came home with a distinct and lasting accent. So you can see my dilemma. ;)
ReplyDelete