Stuff My Dogs Have Wrecked: Christmas Card

Even sharing this gnawed on Christmas card with you now, I know it's a little weak. It's a card. The corner is gone. YOU CAN STILL TELL IT'S A WREATH.

It's like my dogs aren't even trying anymore.

I mean, how to compare to cushion fluff everywhere (like here) or busting the World's Perfect Sandals (like here). Which leads me to a question I am afraid to utter lest I jinx it:

Are my dogs getting better?

This latest attempt is practically half-assed, isn't it? Back in the day my dogs would have OBLITERATED that dang card. It would have been SHREDDED and MASHED and... let's be honest... they probably would have eaten it and I would have said to myself "I think we received a Christmas card yesterday... but maybe not... maybe if I sent out cards we'd RECEIVE more cards... probably imagining things again..." AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE STORY ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS CARD. It would have been a NON-STORY and I would have filled this space with insightful musings about world politics or something.

Or something.

It's more likely that my dogs are just messing with me and saving up their destructiveness for something really juicy like a Christmas turkey.

Does it ever concen you that you spend a certain portion of your day trying to outsmart AN ANIMAL? If that doesn't concern you then it doesn't concern me either.


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Time Flies

This is a picture from Christmas 2008 (here is another one). Mickey was about 7 months old in this picture. Ah, how time flies.

Speaking of how time flies: Soooo... it occurred to me today that I only have ONE MORE FREAKING WEEKEND before Christmas. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN EXACTLY? Is anyone else ready? I'm not ready. I'M NOT READY.

I am hosting Christmas for the first time ever so I have to make turkey and stuffing and potatoes and dessert and Christmas breakfast (waffles) and I have to make sure we have Christmas oranges and that Mariah Carey Christmas carols are playing (don't judge me- in my house Mariah belting out All I Want for Christmas means Christmas. If we have to part ways from here I will understand) and holy crap the pressure, THE PRESSURE!

Just kidding. Kind of. I am mildly (hyper) aware of the various things that I need to get in line before Santa makes his way down our chimney. It'll all work out just fine. The real meaning of Christmas has to do with us all being together and love and blah, blah, yadda, yadda.

It'll be fine. It'll all be just fine.

If you'll excuse me I am going to go and obsess over a Monstrous List of Things To Stress About now.

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