Hank the Show Off

This is a picture of my brothers' dog, Hank:

This is a picture of Hank happily diving into the water with the precision of an athlete. He looks so grand, he could be a lifeguard dog, prepping to save struggling swimmers who need the aid of a champion. Whatever the reason he is going into the water, you can safely say he knows what he is doing and he looks pretty graceful doing it.


This is a picture of my dog, Kayloo, "swimming":

You'll notice that Kayloos' performance isn't as impressive as Hanks'. It kind of looks like she is drowning. I can assure you, she is not.

Kayloo will not be accepted into lifeguard dog school.

My dogs race around like moronic lunatics after they come out of the water. Supreme-o swimmers they are not, but at least when we get home they are really cute when they crash.

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Blue

Look at the sky, it's PERFECTLY BLUE!

Once upon a time it was summer and I love summer and it was warm and the sun was shining and it was HEAVEN and did I mention that I LOVE summer? and then- OH NO!- it was OVER no, no, no. And then, the end.

I'm not sure if where you are is anything like where I am... but where I am is starting to get a bit cooler. Dang it.

This is a picture I took of the sky about a month ago while I was laying on my back on a blanket in the backyard. I was with my husband and my dogs and I had a mondo-sized latte and I read a of couple magazines and basically life was pretty much incredibly, totally perfect. That day may have also been a good hair day. I'm pretty sure it was.

Sigh...

I think this pic of Mickey and this pic of Kayloo about wrap up perfect summer days. Ooooh and then there was camping... and white wine!

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Dirty Rotten Kitty

This is Dirty Rotten Kitty. As you can see, Dirty Rotten Kitty has seen better days.

I read a great tip though (I think it was on Modern Dog)- patch up dog toys with dental floss. DENTAL FLOSS! How is THAT for some wicked advice?

Quick practical comment: I patched up a bunch of toys over the weekend and used a regular needle with the dental floss. Turns out the eye on a regular needle is big enough for the dental floss to be threaded through.

Who knew?

In the meantime, the future for Dirty Rotten Kitty is not looking bright.


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Willy-Nilly Wonka

I was GOING to write something about how Mickey, when he play fights with Kayloo, assumes the unique ninja-fighting position of flopping out on his back and pawing at Kayloo's head. You'd think, since he is half her size, he would do his best to make himself bigger, but no. He lays down and rolls over and starts kicking and punching away like a wayward kangaroo. A really REALLY small kangaroo.

So, I was GOING to write about that, but then I noticed that Mickey's willy was HANGING OUT. Right on out there. With absolutely no regard for decorum or manners or EVEN INTRODUCTIONS! Oh. The. Horror. Didn't he know that SELF RESPECTING PEOPLE WITH STANDARDS WOULD SEE HIM?

Since Mickey is a male dog and I am not in the habit of making him wear trousers, this state of exposure is not an unusual occurrence. Happens every day as you might well imagine. Of course, I don't generally freeze-frame the occasion and then force it upon my unsuspecting readers.

Suddenly I started to second guess myself. Would you guys wince at a dog willy in the wind? Would you be a wee bit uncomfortable and waffle at such wretchedness?

Or would you wink and think, "Hey! What's a little walk on the wild side?"

(I'm going to try not to do the 7 million "w's" in a sentence thing again, but come ON, it was kind of funny!)

So, what do you think? Is dog modesty a must, or are we okay with our dogs in all their inappropriate splendor?

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Prince George vs. Florida (or Bear Wrestling in PG is Totally Normal)

This sign is down the street from my parents house:

Just in case you can't read the sign I've written out the most important part for you:

"BEARS! OH MY GOD... RUN! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIE!!!"

My folks live in Prince George, BC (here is a map, and yes, people DO live that far north). When I was a kid there were about the same number of bears around, but apparently no one felt the need to put up a sign. So, right after walking to school up hill both ways IN THE SNOW we wrestled bears to the ground with our BARE HANDS. When we were 6 years old. And now you know why chicks from Prince George are so tough.

I'm glad I grew up here. Behind my parents house are trees. Lots of them. They are everywhere, it's as if they've multiplied or something. AND they weren't transported here by landscapers or city planners they just GREW ON THEIR OWN NATURALLY. Who knew?

Another cool thing about Prince George: I went for a walk and a bunch of strangers said "hi" to me. I had absolutely no idea who they were. In New York or Toronto or a million other places, if someone says "hi" you check for your purse to make sure it's still there. And if they smile they are probably a pervert. Or on drugs. Or a drugged out pervert plotting to STEAL YOUR PURSE.

Don't get me wrong, there are all kinds of lame things about Prince George:

• there are pulp mills in the area so quite often it smells like flatulence (I had "fart" in there but my mom made me change it to "flatulence." Whatever.)


• there isn't a Gap. Shock. Horror.


• there is more plaid flannel roaming around than any one population can be expected to sustainably support
  

I just read an article about 3 friends from Florida who drove all the way across THE ENTIRE COUNTRY to live here in Prince George. They had never been here before. THAT IS INSANE! They used to live RIGHT BY DISNEYLAND... who in their right mind would give up Mickey Mouse for Mr. PG? (you don't think there is really a Mr. PG, do you? Oh yes there is. Here is a picture).

Moral of this post. Prince George is cool, but so is Space Mountain. If you come here you will be expected to wrestle a bear to prove you are worthy. Consider yourself warned.

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Ugly As Sin

Last night my parents and I had a gourmet meal of hotdogs and chips around the fire pit. Yes, I know that hotdogs are ridiculously bad for you.


True story: When John and I first started seeing each other John asked me what my favourite food was. When I said "hotdogs" John says he fell in love with me right then and there. Awwww.

I borrowed my mom's bright blue, fake crocs for the occasion. Look at them. If you're a croc fan you may want to avert your eyes for this next line:

Ugly. As. Sin.

Horrid, awful, strange, UGLY things.

Yes they are.

John still loves me even if I wear crocs though. AWWWWWW.

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Stuff My Dogs Have Wrecked: Cushion II

I was going through the photos on my camera and came across a whole shwack of pics (that's right, "schwack"). I've been away from the dogs now for a few days and I THOUGHT for a minute that I missed them a bit.

And then I came across this:

Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!!

A few other reminders that my dogs are a total pain in the butt:

• Stuff My Dogs Have Wrecked: Cushion I
• Stuff My Dogs Have Wrecked: Shoes

Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... to add insult to injury Kayloo looks positively gleeful... breathe out...

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