Stairs Suck (or Bouncing Quarters)

I am getting back into the gym. Project: Makin' Shauna Smokin' started yesterday (Project: Get My Zen On started a couple weeks ago). Don't get me wrong, I'm not at the point where I'm going to be trying out for the Biggest Loser anytime soon... but I've realized that I'm not in the greatest shape because I did That Thing.

You know what I'm talking about.

I did that thing you do when you climb a few stairs and you desperately need and want to pant but you force yourself to take normal sized breaths so it doesn't LOOK like you want to pant, but then you think you might actually be able to HEAR a few hundred of those little sacks in your lungs exploding, but you give yourself a little high five anyway because you managed not pant, but as it turns out your face is a dangerous shade of magenta and your nose might actually now be swollen.

THAT thing.

That happened on Monday. Went to the gym Tuesday.

Everyone who thinks that working out is a nice experience that makes you feel all warm and glowy should find a friend... and get them to slap you because GOING TO THE GYM SUCKS. Yeah it does. The only reason to go is in the hopes of being able to bounce a quarter off your... vastus intermedius (ahem). That's it. You. Know. I'm. Right.

And I have to go back tomorrow. So I'm pretty excited about... that.

So far no bouncing quarters. Will keep you posted.


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Happy BC Day!

Happy BC Day, my fellow British Columbians! I'm a day late! I know!

Mickey is chewing on a wee little British Columbia flag. Is that disrespectful? He regularly sits on Kayloo's face and there doesn't seem to be too much ill will between the two of them (sometimes there is ill will), so I speak with a fairly high level of certainly when I say that Mickey really didn't mean any disrespect.

He may have been lacking in respect a touch when he peed on the back of the kid who kept yanking on this tail (did that happen?)... utter and total respect however, when it came to the flag.

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(Stupid) Sigma

I graduated from business school several years ago. Before that I was a dancer (because going to biz school is the most common thing in the world for dancers to do. Sure it is). And no, not THAT kind of dancer (ha, ha HA, GEE I am not sick of that joke AT ALL); I studied ballet, tap, jazz, modern- that kind of thing.

Roughly 3 weeks into the business program I decided that perhaps this time I had jumped in over my head and I should quit.

The clincher: We had this "refresher" statistics class and I did not get something called "sigma." It's not really important what (stupid) sigma IS, but suffice to say it's a pretty standard stats thing and I didn't get it. I DIDN'T GET IT AT ALL. Which means I didn't get ANYTHING in the stats "refresher" class. And I'm something of an A-type personality so me not getting something is a problem. People were practically falling asleep and doing the questions upside down and backwards to give themselves a challenge and I was all: WAIT! Slow DOWN! Oh my god... so sigma is like ADDING? MULTIPLYING? It's like dividing letters? How did I get accepted into this crazy program? Ahhh! I THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO READ!!!!!

I hated that class.

I had 2 weeks before the deadline to get my deposit back. After that it wouldn't matter if I died of sigma-itis because my parents would kill me for losing so much money.

From here I did a few things:

1. gave up on sigma for the time being
2. starting looking at job boards to get a feel for the kinds of jobs I could get with my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree
3. fixed up my makeup after giving myself an appropriate amount of time to sob uncontrollably after seeing the kinds of jobs I could get with my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree*

There was only one thing to do: Leave my entire future... up to FATE. I decided to run for Student Council. If I got elected I would stay in the program. If I didn't get elected I would quit.

And hell, why not leave my future up to fate? Never mind that I had spent months studying for the entrance exam, writing entrance essays and collecting reference letters as well as heaps of time finding a place to live, buying textbooks, and giving myself pep talks (you can DO it, Shauna! Yes you can! Just walk into the classroom... walk... walk NOW... 1, 2, 3, go! Doggonit woman, PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU!"). Nah, I figured the best, most logical course of action for this last crucial decision was to wing it.

The things I did to make my folks proud.

And you know what? Damned if I didn't get elected to Student Council. The stars came into alignment**, I stayed in school and gosh darnit, I GOT sigma. I can't say that I remember a damn thing about it now, but I got it at the time and I used it and I made friends and I graduated and... allow me this one more time:

I GOT (stupid) SIGMA!!!

The dogs have big challenges too: Here is a picture of Kayloo trying to figure out how to get from where she is on the grass to where I am on the blanket without walking (bit of a lazy boo, this one).


* I'm not saying there's anything WRONG with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree. I love my degree. I would like to marry my degree (but I'm already married, and that would be complicated). I'm just saying that at that particular fragile moment in my life the world was crashing down and even if I had, say, a Law degree I'd only have been able to secure a part-time job weeding gardens... for my grandparents ... and just by the skin of my teeth (they love me but they're tough).
** FYI I don't recommend waiting for stars to come into alignment to help you make a decision. What if it's cloudy, or you have to make a decision at, like, 2 o'clock in the afternoon when it's too bright to see the stars at all?

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Camping: It Totally Rocked

Not sure if I've made it clear, but all in all, camping rocked.

We drank.

We slept.
We went for long walks...

And on the drive home we found THE ONE AND ONLY NON-DISGUSTING OUTHOUSE in all of British Columbia THANK GOD oh my GOD I thought I was going to DIE if I had to wait one more SECOND I SWEAR to GOD I would have peed all over the JEEP like ALL OVER IT that is how close I was to DYING of too much pee.

So I took a picture of it for your viewing pleasure.


You're welcome.

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Camping: My Yogi

While we were camping I decided that I wanted to take the opportunity to get a little meditation back into my life. That's right: Meditation. Some version of the following is what generally runs through my head when I "meditate":

Ooooooomm... Ooooommmm..... ommmmmm... Om-I forgot to iron my pants for today.... ahem... ok- ooommm... You know, I should wear skirts more often, it's not that I don't like skirts, but... helloooo... oooommmm. Ok, "ooomm" isn't working, that is kind of pretentious anyway... "Pretentious"? Holy crap Shauna, who do you think you are? You're calling people who devote themselves to the mountains and forgo sarcasm forever and EVER "pretentious"?... Shut up! Shut up! shutupshutupshutup.... Okay. Self love. Let's try self love... Centering... Love.... Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooove... love... Hold on! Hold ON! Pull it together, you were doing it FOR A WHOLE .83 seconds! Fight it!!! Fight it, you can DO it... FIGHT IT WOMAN!!!!.... Seriously, what pants am I going to wear today...

Yeah. So a super, duper zen experience. Eckhart Tolle totally rings me for tips every now and again.

In this photo Kayloo is watching the pandemonium of what seems like dozens of crazy, deliriously happy kids (my little cousins) at the end of the dock. She is thoroughly and totally wrapped up in their every squeal, leap and splash. She is absorbed in curiosity and eventually compelled to join them at the end of the dock and when she came back I can only describe her trot as joyous.

So, wishing y'all a joyous trot today. Or at the very least that you remembered to iron your pants...

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Camping: Connoisseur Only Different

Ok. So I would definitely recommend this wine- it's organic, it's Chilean... it's all good.

I also like it's name: Cono Sur. Like "connoisseur" only different and easier to spell. Get it? I did, which might have been part of the reason I bought the bottle in the first place.

But the real reason I am posting this photo is that I am so excited that my camera can do the whole "blurry in the background, focused in the front" thing. That is some fun stuff. I have a (grabbing a camera and copying, copying) Canon Digital IXUS 850IS. Yup. Turns out the IXUS can do the blurry thang.

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Camping: Mickey Crashing Out II

Apparently all my dog does is sleep. Here is Mickey Crashing Out I.

One of my Little 2nd Cousins: Is Mickey sleeping again?

Me: Yup.

Little Cuz: Mickey sleeps alot.

Me: You guys chase him around a lot.

Little Cuz: Does Mickey want to play right now?

Me: I don't think so.

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