Thursday, October 15, 2009

Stuff My Dogs Have Wrecked: My Book (Dalai Lama vs. Obama)

Bookmark and Share

They look harmless enough, don't they? Oh CONTRAIRE.

I have mentioned in past posts that I am doing what I can do be more zen (like here and here). I am certain that if I could get a couple days away from crap-free carpet, non-bitchy chicks in red and more wino, I would TOTALLY be able to kick Buddha's ass in an arm wrestle.

The situation in the photo below is NOT HELPING.

When I came home the other day, my Dalai Lama book was ripped to smithereens. Yeah. How the hell am I supposed to be zen if my chilled out monk book IS TORN TO PIECES?!! Sure, I haven't read it in like, 5 years, but whatever. Maybe I would have read it again THAT DAY and this kind of thing wouldn't have made me want to go all Tonya Harding on the nearest stuffed pig and THE TOP OF MY HEAD WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO BLOW OFF. Did you know that it is possible for a person's head to pop off from sheer frustration? It is. And it did. And it wasn't pretty, lemme tell ya.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

As a quick aside: The Barack Obama book below was sitting RIGHT BESIDE the Dalai Lama book and, as you can see, it was left completely and totally alone. I have absolutely nothing against Barack- he seems like a fab-o guy- BUT OBAMA IS NOT GOING TO MAKE ME MORE ZEN. I'm Canadian for heaven's sake. Why couldn't the dogs have totaled the Audacity book? I've read it, I'm not going to read it again, the people who were going to borrow it did... now it's just hanging around CONTRIBUTING NOTHING TO MY OVERALL SANITY.

If you get a kick out of all the stuff my dogs destroy and watching me go mental you might also like:
Good times.

If you liked this post and you would like to share it, that would be super! Thank you so much!

Bookmark and Share


  1. when Maggie was a puppy she ate The New Monks of Muskeet Dog Training Book

    my sister's puppy ate the Bible

  2. "The Bible"- ha! Someone from Twitter wrote to me that their dog ate their zebra panties... haahahaha! What other things have people's pooches chowed down on?

  3. Our Dixie, black lab, eats anything and everything. She is quite bad!
    Your blog is quite entertaining. LOL!

  4. oh, I was juts limiting this to books ... here is a list of things Scout has eaten (incomplete):

    - my phone
    - my lap-top (kind of, electrocuted herself in the process, funny)
    - countless shoes, including some VERY pricey Fluevogs and more than one pair of black boots
    my couch
    my duvet
    the pillows on mu couch
    my other dogs toys, all of them
    various and sundry tupperware containers

    and, and, and - it's a REALLY good thing she's cute

  5. When I was little I ate three pair of $300 eyeglasses in two months. It was a long time ago. I had to kick my eyeglass fetish because it was upsetting mom too much. She can scream really loud.

  6. sent via Twitter: love seat, coffee table, shipment of candles (non toxic), carpet, food in pantry, shoes...

    floors, carpets, rugs, sunglasses, coasters, knick knacks, DVDs, books...

    a sofa and one of them snacked on the kitchen dry wall and vinyl floor. Yum!

    My Wrangler chewed the margins of "Dog is my CoPilot" but didn't destroy it. I believe he knew the subject matter.


  7. so v entertaining your world/blog! Thanks! Ha! All I do is plaster my fur on everything that the oomans must wear out in public! sweet revenge for them leaving me!!! MOL! *smoochies
    Honeybell aka @Wildboutbirds