Monday, November 2, 2009

If Only I Was a Ninja

Bookmark and Share

Wow. I am in an extraordinarily bad mood because I had a fantastically HORRID HORRID CRAPTACULOUS maddening day.

This is what my day felt like:

Imagine first, falling down. Not a spectacular fall, just your normal, ordinary uncoordinated spill that lands you on your butt. Next, imagine some random person sashaying along and thumping you in the middle of your forehead over and over and OVER again every single damn time you try to creep up off the ground. And then, just when you think OH MY GOD I THINK I MIGHT MAKE IT ONTO TWO FEET!!! I MIGHT ACTUALLY STOP LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL JACKASS AND GET A BIT OF DIGNITY BACK they crack you right between the eyes with the heel of their hand and you are DOWN.

But, this time around it's no innocent, uncoordinated spill. Oh no, this time when you fall, you SPLAT onto the ground with a lack of grace that is LEGENDARY. You're on all fours, you've managed to wedge the entire back of your skirt up into the top of your tights and you've landed in a GREAT BIG HUMONGOUS SMELLY MUD PUDDLE that is so deep you are now covered from head to toe and it's even in your mouth and your eyes and your nose and even behind your ears. This dang puddle is full of tar and molasses and PERMANENT MARKER and gum that is totally caught in your hair and a bunch of squished up caterpillars that is going to STAIN SOMETHING AWFUL. AND you stub your toe and one of your eyebrows disappear and if ONLY YOU WERE A NINJA you could have karate chopped that forehead thumper right in the beginning and NONE OF THIS CRAPPY MUD PUDDLE MUMBO JUMBO WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

Breathe in, breathe out.

So, what does this pic of my dogs have to do anything? I dunno. All I know is I took it over the weekend, I like looking at it and right at this present moment looking at this photo a bit more seems like a nice idea.

What do you do to calm yourself down? I'm happy to hear any ideas, any ideas at all.

If you liked this post and you would like to share it, that would be super! Thank you so much!

Bookmark and Share


  1. Sounds like a nice time to kill a bottle of really crappy wine.

    Bad moods call for crappy wine. Why waste a perfectly good bottle of your favorite vintage on a bad mood? Save those for when you're feeling better -- say after finishing the first bottle when while you're slightly numb but not too far gone to truly enjoy a gentle sipper.

    But, and this is the most important part, well right after achieving that end-of-the-crappy-day numbness that was the goal all along. Drink a tall glass or two of water to help alleviate tomorrow's hangover which will lead to another really crappy day.

  2. From Twitter: boxing... good one. When I was a kid we had a punching bag... it did work...

  3. Batting cages work every time!

  4. Awwww! You guys rock! I am feeling much better now but FOR THE LOVE OF PETE yesterday was a doozy. I got a few "wine" suggestions... glad to see everyone using VERY RESPECTABLE means of chilling out :) Thanks agaiin!

  5. When I'm upset I read a good book. Most of the time I found the problems in the books were greater than mine. It helps to distract me from my problems when I'm reading about the characters.