Thursday, September 3, 2009

Prince George vs. Florida (or Bear Wrestling in PG is Totally Normal)

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This sign is down the street from my parents house:


Just in case you can't read the sign I've written out the most important part for you:

"BEARS! OH MY GOD... RUN! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIE!!!"

My folks live in Prince George, BC (here is a map, and yes, people DO live that far north). When I was a kid there were about the same number of bears around, but apparently no one felt the need to put up a sign. So, right after walking to school up hill both ways IN THE SNOW we wrestled bears to the ground with our BARE HANDS. When we were 6 years old. And now you know why chicks from Prince George are so tough.

I'm glad I grew up here. Behind my parents house are trees. Lots of them. They are everywhere, it's as if they've multiplied or something. AND they weren't transported here by landscapers or city planners they just GREW ON THEIR OWN NATURALLY. Who knew?

Another cool thing about Prince George: I went for a walk and a bunch of strangers said "hi" to me. I had absolutely no idea who they were. In New York or Toronto or a million other places, if someone says "hi" you check for your purse to make sure it's still there. And if they smile they are probably a pervert. Or on drugs. Or a drugged out pervert plotting to STEAL YOUR PURSE.

Don't get me wrong, there are all kinds of lame things about Prince George:

  • there are pulp mills in the area so quite often it smells like flatulence (I had "fart" in there but my mom made me change it to "flatulence." Whatever.)

  • there isn't a Gap. Shock. Horror.

  • there is more plaid flannel roaming around than any one population can be expected to sustainably support

I just read an article about 3 friends from Florida who drove all the way across THE ENTIRE COUNTRY to live here in Prince George. They had never been here before. THAT IS INSANE! They used to live RIGHT BY DISNEYLAND... who in their right mind would give up Mickey Mouse for Mr. PG? (you don't think there is really a Mr. PG, do you? Oh yes there is. Here is a picture).

Moral of this post. Prince George is cool, but so is Space Mountain. If you come here you will be expected to wrestle a bear to prove you are worthy. Consider yourself warned.

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2 comments:

  1. This is a great post! I have yet to have the pleasure of visiting Prince George but I don't live too far away. I am up in Whitehorse and come to think of it... there is no Gap here either!

    I grew up and worked in Northern Ontario and part of my job for awhile was dealing with Problem Bears. Yes the sign may seem silly but the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources has an entire program dedicated to dealing with "Problem Bears". They preach much of the same information that is on your sign above. Unfortunately, this program is required as bears have been getting a lot of negative attention so landowners are handling bear encounters by means of force.

    Keep up the great work!

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  2. @Nathan- thanks for the kudos! I remember coming home from a school break of some kind & seeing that sign for the first time. We all thought it was so novel- wasn't it obvious that if you didn't cover your garbage bears would come out & chow down? I have never been to up Whitehorse- my folks just got back from Nunavut. I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO NUNAVUT! I hope you have a nice, relaxing bear-free day. Thanks for your comment!

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