Monday, August 24, 2009
I've come to the conclusion that I would never EVER make it as a critic if that was my profession. If I was a critic and depended on people caring about my critiques and I had to wait for a pay cheque to come of it... I would starve. Completely and totally to death.
I had a glass of wine recently and it kind of tasted like juice. Juice with an edge I suppose, but that was just because it had alcohol in it. I'd say what Tang is to juice, this "wine" is to wine.
In any case, as much as I can go on about me thinking it was crap... I can't bring myself to tell you what vineyard the wine comes from because it makes me feel bad to say: And hereto forth, I bequeath, Wine Blah Blah blows (my "reviews" so far: Cono Sur is "good," Barefoot "rocked" and for Lotusland "I liked it").
Let's blame my mother for this one. She's on holiday right now. She won't know.
What else do I suck at?
Bocce apparently. I went to go play last Friday and I came THIS close to hitting a duck and landing my bocce ball in a pond. WELL PLAYED!
Something I don't suck at: those reenactment games where you get all dressed up and play fight with your buddies in parks. I don't suck at it because I don't do it. But I DID see some people playing their game in the park where we were playing bocce! And they were DRESSED UP AND EVERYTHING. One guy even had all the make-up on and they had swords, pardon me, lightsabers and they LIT UP. I'm not sure if they made "whoomp, whoomp" sound because I wasn't close enough (would YOU have gotten very close to people in black capes and knee high army boots... and LIGHTSABERS?), but I could definitely see that they lit up and they were blue and those slow motion action moves were kick ass.
I could never be one of those reenactment game people. There are many reasons really, but a couple of them are 1) I don't think I could pull off slow motion action moves and 2) I hate getting dressed up. Halloween makes me want to pull my eyelashes out.
I hate finding a costume, spending money on crap that I'm only going to wear once, calling my friends to see if anyone ANYONE has a purple, sparkly mullet I can borrow (has to be purple!) because, darn it, I went and threw mine out last week.
Let's blame this on my mother too. Why? Just cuz. She's on holidays.
Back to my point. I suck at reviewing. I'm going to try not to lose any sleep over this one. I will not come on here and say, OMG THIS WINE WAS SO BAD, BLEH, BLECHT, THE HORROR, in the same way that I will not put a collar on the dog and say: Check this out? Ugly, hey? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Ok then. I think I'll go get dressed up and play some bocce.
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